Tiptoe Through the Tulips
By: Charles Giuliano - Jun 06, 2022
Tiptoe Through the Tulips
Tiny Tim
Wasn’t really so
Tiny that is
Just over six feet
Thick round the hips
Kindah pear shaped
Settled to the bottom
Rather effeminate
Married three times
Stringely straggely hair
Falling here and there
Accenting sharp nose
Rather like a beak
Gonzo shrill tone
When he squeaked
Trilling falsetto
Accompanied on a
Ukulele what like
They play in Hawaii
Or Arthur Godfrey
Remember him
Long before Tiny Tim
So named less for
Diminutive stature
More likely after Dickens
The crippled kid
Son of Bob Cratchit
Who worked for Scrooge
Mean old miser
The Christmas Carol
Made him wiser
So our guy
The other Tiny Tim
Had this whimsical
Elf like character
Seemed like a put on
Which as it turned out
Was for real
First saw him
At Filmore East
Came out with a paper bag
Holding the uke
Kind of a running gag
Opening act for
Some rock show
A bit of diversion
From the perversion
At the Playboy Club
Boston’s Park Square
The main event
They fed the press
Bunnies brought drinks
Did the dip thing
Flashing the cleavage
Me then a bachelor
There with a date
Bunnies were off limits
Look but don’t touch
Between sets
Went in for a chat
I asked where he got
Those corny old songs
Off scratchy 78s
Oh Mr Giuliano
He trilled for real
Frisky falsetto
Just like on
The Tonight Show
I just love them so much
Particularly blue Columbias
Hold them to my nose
smell the labels
Miss Vicky
Soon his bride to be
On live TV
Turned away snickering
Shelia went berserk
I played it straight
Someone had to
Ran in the Herald
A Sunday piece
My great aunt Catherine
Always asked about him
What was he like
Her face lit up
As if I met God
Or at least the Pope
Was he a dope
Or just a joke
Funny to be true
And kind of sad
Tim was for real
Some don’t give a toot
But he was a hoot
So kids let's
Hoist a glass to
A gimp with class