Remembering Joseph Michael Avery Conway
Mass MoCA Hosts a Celebration of His Life
By: Charles Giuliano - Sep 16, 2007
The Northern Berkshires arts community, relatives and friends filled a performance space at Massachusetts Museum of Contemporary Art yesterday to celebrate the life of one of their own, Joseph Michael Avery Conway, who was killed in a head on collision with an alleged drunk driver in the early morning of September 3. Conway and his business and life partner, Kurt Kolok, were visiting family on Staten Island, one of the few occasions when they enjoyed some vacation time during the busy summer season, over Labor Day weekend.
Like many of us in the arts community, Kurt and Joe had settled in the Berkshires to start a new life. In Joe's case, to get out of the city where he had a career in law and politics. Conway worked for the New York Consumer Protection Agency and in the administration of former New York Governor, George Pataki. In 2006, he started practicing international law and founded the Conway Law Group which specialized in domestic contracts and partnership agreements between gay and lesbian couples.
It was appropriate that the celebration occurred at Mass MoCA as Kurt recalled during his remarks that it was where they had their first date. It was also a symbolic location as the museum is a magnet that has drawn many of us to the region with the hopes of spawning a vibrant arts community in its enormous shadow.
Six years ago, Kurt and Joe, or Joe and Kurt, one cannot say one name without the other, bought and were renovating a Victorian house on Elmwood Avenue in North Adams. A number of their neighbors and friends spoke during the program. There were particularly warm remarks from families with small children commenting that Joe had the unique ability to relate to them as friends and equals but just small and young.
They collected art for their home and out of that came the idea for Kurt to open a gallery. Joe is described as knowing nothing about art but was fully involved in the venture. They supported and encouraged each other in their hopes and dreams. When he started to become interested in art Kurt described how Joe bought all of the supplies it would take to become an artist. He just started painting even though he knew nothing about the medium or how to mix colors. It was typically brilliant of him that he had the ability to jump in and master a range of topics and interests.
During openings at the gallery I always enjoyed talking with him. His usual place was behind the desk pouring wine and putting out food. Our interactions were lively and fun. He made you feel important as if you were old friends even if meeting you for the first time. He enjoyed sharing anecdotes and frustrations.
At the start of the season, for instance, there was an event held at Porches. But Joe missed the elegant dinner because he was still in the gallery making last minute adjustments. It appears that Kurt was away on business and Joe hung the show in his absence. But Kurt didn't approve of the result and at the last minute Joe was making adjustments while Kurt hosted the dinner. In the gallery that night I asked them to pose on the steps and took a picture. It was a great shot. I made a print and gave it to them at the next opening. Joe later told me he loved it and was having it framed. It captures a lot about them. Joe with such huge, warm, and sensual eyes is smiling radiantly. Kurt stands above, wine glass in hand, with his hand on Joe's shoulder. There is both a formal and casual feeling in the image. Ironically, it is one of the last of them together and was included in a montage of images projected at Mass MoCA that told the often hilarious story of his life.
Joe's Mom spoke wonderfully about their extended family, his two siblings, cousins and relatives that represented a close group of nine individuals. "If Joe had a problem, nine of us had a problem," she said. "If Joe was happy nine of us were happy." With humor she described how in her Italian family Barbecues were mostly cooked in the kitchen. Joe's father spoke briefly and informed us that the family will be active in Mothers Against Drunk Driving to push for stronger legislation to prevent such family tragedies.
It is particularly tragic that Joe seemed to be in such a good place in his life. During those chats in the gallery we spoke of his new job in international law that entailed frequent travel. It seemed like such a fascinating and exotic opportunity. We shared our plans for travel and he was richly informative about the merits of flying in and out of Albany. Again he made such a point of being responsive and helpful.
While many of the tributes were brief and emotional there were also some wonderful and amusing memories. One speaker informed us that Avery is not really his middle name. It was just a hoax and part of his ironic humor. Near the end of the program Kurt's uncle, the artist David Bradshaw, spoke. He recalled working with Kurt and Joe in the feverish days leading up to opening the gallery. There were several all nighters. One of the issues was how to paint the stairs and with what material. A high gloss enamel was decided on and Bradshaw volunteered for the job. It was raining so the windows had to be shut or it would never dry in time. Kurt insisted that the work would not be hung until the toxic fumes had subsided. There was some kind of tussle with Joe insisting that "Kurt it is a gallery. You have to put something on the walls."
Later Bradshaw showed in the gallery from July 7-26 in 2006. There was the matter of an old upright piano that Kurt was trying to get rid of because there was no space for it. He tried selling it with no luck. Then he tried to give it away. Somebody said that they would take it if it were delivered. As a last resort Bradshaw hauled it off to his home in Vermont. It was set up outside and over the course of several hours a number of people helped him to use it for target practice. The artist's work often involved the use of fire arms and explosives including collaborations with Beat author and artist William Burroughs.
The shot up piano was hauled into the gallery where Bradshaw intended to mount it on a wall. Joe, an attorney, with a concern for injury and liability, argued against that. "It may fall and injure somebody," Joe said. Then he suggested stanchions and velvet rope. But Bradshaw countered that it was a gallery and not a theatre.
During a reception and opening of the new show at Kolok Gallery last night, which Kurt did not attend, Bradshaw recalled with humor that the beat up piano did indeed get hung on the wall and that Joe "Used his muscles to help us mount it." Through the effort of friends the exhibition "Stir, Draw, Pitch: New Abstractions" featuring works by Parisian artist, Jean Noel Chazell, and Elizabeth Winton from Brooklyn, opened as scheduled and will remain on view through October 9 during normal business hours. The gallery also issued a statement that "While recovering emotionally and physically, Kurt will be taking a near-term leave of absence from gallery businessÂ…"
In the past two years Kolok Gallery has been a lively and vibrant force for contemporary art. It has contributed to the vital and struggling critical mass of a community still in the early stages of finding its voice and identity. Kurt and Joe have been a huge part of that ongoing struggle. So this is an enormous loss. Joe was a remarkable man: Handsome, smart, fun, and gifted with vision and energy. On a dark road, late at night, that bastard took something dear and precious from us. We all loved Joe. Or is it Joe and Kurt or Kurt and Joe? Now just Kurt.